January
Thirty days have September
April June and November
All the rest have thirty-one
Except January that has
Eight hundred and forty-five
Thousand six hundred and seventy-two
Oh…and then there’s February
February
January’s over February’s here
So fall off the wagon
And get back on the beer
Just one present sill packaged
The News's an old year
And out in the woods
The first snow drops appear
It’s still light at five
Are the days a tad warmer
Is it still vindaloo
Or time for a korma
Can we envisage
What this year will bring
Resolutions abandon
And look forward to Spring
Yes January’s over
Februarys here
Its off with the handbrake
And into first gear
But fellas remember
There’ an obstacle near
That Valentine’s day
What a pain in the rear
March
January crawled February lingered
It’s time to start marching away
Marching right into springtime
Clocks forward on Mother’s Day
A march by blooms of daffodils
To the march that’s best of all
The march by the park at Prestbury
To Cheltenham and its festival
April
This one’s a funny ol’ month
The weather it just doesn’t know
Is it winter or summer
Should I wear shorts
Or wrap up cos they’re forecasting snow
Hot sunny Easter
Showers or hail
Guessing’s the name of the game
Cos the only thing certain
That April provides
Is a month that’s got a girl’s name
May
Green and cream and green and white
Emeralds jades and limes alight
Woodland floor a carpet lush
Yellows pinks a purple blush
A whisper now a verdant hum
A green light saying summer come
Promises in shades of green
Maytime’s viridescent scene
June
June must be my favourite
But this one’s quite surreal
Cos a month abuzz with energy means…
You’ve got to pay the bill
And warmer days and sunshine turn…
Your thoughts to Greece and Spain
But I got no cash or passport
And they ain’t got a plane
But cheer ye must a jubilee
And parties in the street
Longer days that Boris wants
To calculate in feet
And in three weeks’ time the longest day
Now don’t that make you grin
No I didn’t think so cos…
The nights start drawing in
July
July - after Julius Caesar
A self-proclaimed leader of men
Who like a current egotistical geezer
Was unsuited to the number ten
“July?” - they questioned of Caesar
“Yes - for posterity”
“July?” they asked Boris Johnson
“Of course- it comes natural to me”
August
August the mid-month of summer
But two thirds in on the calendar year
No school for a month it’s time to unwind
Abroad or stop-at-home here
No new flowers bloom - they’ve already flourished
But one thing for certain is clear
As it comes to an end
We just won’t comprehend
Why we’re thinking that Christmas is near
September
This month is like spring in reverse
Yawning as foliage subsides
Autumn’s about to rehearse
So the warmth and the cold don’t collide
Clouds sprinklers tripped
Extinguishing flames
So summer’s just a time to remember
The fire put out
That thought of a drought
Now no evident heat except ember
October
An ober amongst the embers
Will it catch or extinguish the glow?
Shortening days but lengthening trousers
Sun, rain but surely not snow
Autumn or winter
It’s just so confusing
Stoptober or stick with the beer
Oh sod it I’m off to Sardinia
Where summer might just reappear
November
Some people call it Mauvember
But embers aren’t mauve they are black
But if I look at the trees and the tint of the autumn
I minded to take that statement back
There's golds and there’s crimsons
Coppers and blues
Midst the greens so determined to stay
November an arborical explosion
A hushed pyrotechnic display
December
Deciduous trees in deceleration
Evergreens inside for their decoration
Declaring a month of mulled wine and cider
Where games in Qatar are now each a decider
Decelebrities out
Decipher November
Decamped jungle fire
Now an Ant and Dec ember