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A Resume of 2022


Thirty days have September

April June and November

All the rest have thirty-one

Except January that has

Eight hundred and forty-five

Thousand six hundred and seventy-two

Oh…and then there’s February


January’s over February’s here

So fall off the wagon

And get back on the beer

Just one present sill packaged

The News's an old year

And out in the woods

The first snow drops appear

It’s still light at five

Are the days a tad warmer

Is it still vindaloo

Or time for a korma

Can we envisage

What this year will bring

Resolutions abandon

And look forward to Spring

Yes January’s over

Februarys here

Its off with the handbrake

And into first gear

But fellas remember

There’ an obstacle near

That Valentine’s day

What a pain in the rear


January crawled February lingered

It’s time to start marching away

Marching right into springtime

Clocks forward on Mother’s Day

A march by blooms of daffodils

To the march that’s best of all

The march by the park at Prestbury

To Cheltenham and its festival


This one’s a funny ol’ month

The weather it just doesn’t know

Is it winter or summer

Should I wear shorts

Or wrap up cos they’re forecasting snow

Hot sunny Easter

Showers or hail

Guessing’s the name of the game

Cos the only thing certain

That April provides

Is a month that’s got a girl’s name


Green and cream and green and white

Emeralds jades and limes alight

Woodland floor a carpet lush

Yellows pinks a purple blush

A whisper now a verdant hum

A green light saying summer come

Promises in shades of green

Maytime’s viridescent scene


June must be my favourite

But this one’s quite surreal

Cos a month abuzz with energy means…

You’ve got to pay the bill

And warmer days and sunshine turn…

Your thoughts to Greece and Spain

But I got no cash or passport

And they ain’t got a plane

But cheer ye must a jubilee

And parties in the street

Longer days that Boris wants

To calculate in feet

And in three weeks’ time the longest day

Now don’t that make you grin

No I didn’t think so cos…

The nights start drawing in


July - after Julius Caesar

A self-proclaimed leader of men

Who like a current egotistical geezer

Was unsuited to the number ten

“July?” - they questioned of Caesar

“Yes - for posterity”

“July?” they asked Boris Johnson

“Of course- it comes natural to me”


August the mid-month of summer

But two thirds in on the calendar year

No school for a month it’s time to unwind

Abroad or stop-at-home here

No new flowers bloom - they’ve already flourished

But one thing for certain is clear

As it comes to an end

We just won’t comprehend

Why we’re thinking that Christmas is near


This month is like spring in reverse

Yawning as foliage subsides

Autumn’s about to rehearse

So the warmth and the cold don’t collide

Clouds sprinklers tripped

Extinguishing flames

So summer’s just a time to remember

The fire put out

That thought of a drought

Now no evident heat except ember


An ober amongst the embers

Will it catch or extinguish the glow?

Shortening days but lengthening trousers

Sun, rain but surely not snow

Autumn or winter

It’s just so confusing

Stoptober or stick with the beer

Oh sod it I’m off to Sardinia

Where summer might just reappear


Some people call it Mauvember

But embers aren’t mauve they are black

But if I look at the trees and the tint of the autumn

I minded to take that statement back

There's golds and there’s crimsons

Coppers and blues

Midst the greens so determined to stay

November an arborical explosion

A hushed pyrotechnic display


Deciduous trees in deceleration

Evergreens inside for their decoration

Declaring a month of mulled wine and cider

Where games in Qatar are now each a decider

Decelebrities out

Decipher November

Decamped jungle fire

Now an Ant and Dec ember

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